Wednesday, April 5, 2017

a step closer.

Lately the guy I have been crushing on (Let's just call him Patrick) and I have been constantly chatting on messenger.

It all started morning after a co-worker's birthday party. I was shocked to see that he sent me a meme about me drinking too much. From there on we just kept exchanging messages, but when we saw each other in person it was a bit awkward talking to him. I felt like we were more comfortable talking to each other on messenger.

Last night was different though... We happened to meet each other at the grocery store and decided to walk to his place to drop his groceries and go out for coffee right after. Funny how we seemingly became close after a few days of talking on messenger.

"Tonight we chit-chat over a cup of coffee and no alcohol for you." he said as we walked to a sort of hidden coffee shop near his place.

I don't know if I should put meaning to this but when I tried paying for my drink, he pushed my hand away and paid for both our drinks. It felt weird but I guess this is a step forward to a new friendship (I want something more though.). We just talked all night about random things and time just flew by so fast that I didn't notice that we talked for around three hours, barely taking a sip of our now watered down cups of iced coffee. Funny how there was barely any conflict of interests in our conversation despite the age gap of around 8 years (Him being older).

Throughout our whole conversation, I kept trying to gather the courage to ask his sexual preference, but I could seem not muster up the courage to ask him straight up. This is the first time that we went out together though. I feel it in my bones that he plays for our team(LGBT), but he seems straight as wood. Maybe I should not expect anything though and start getting over this unrequited crush that I have on him.

Monday, April 3, 2017

the last passenger

I usually drop-off the guy I have been crushing on last, after a long night of drinking with friends. I deliberately do this to make small talk with him to break the awkward silence inside the car. Still testing the waters to know if he plays for the "same team", by checking if he reciprocates when I indirectly flirt with him. 

*while driving to his place*
"Woah! It's 2 A.M. already! They say nothing good happens after 2 A.M." 

 He responds with a giggle and says "It's too bad walang nearby spa places." 

Trying to turn the conversion into something green, I replied "Grabe the prim and proper resident doctor namin, may naughty side pala."

"Sayang we are near your place na, we could have went for a happy ending" I quickly added

"We all have our needs. I'll probably just help myself go to bed later." he jokingly said

At this point, I was already getting hard. I tried to control myself and not do anything stupid yet since maybe he was just being a typical horny guy. 

"I can give you a happy ending if you want Doc." I said to myself but blurted out to him "A lot of dark areas sa subdivision niyo, this is probably the best place to make miracles happen"

he just giggled and sat listening to whatever songs were playing on the car radio.. 

After that night though we started to send each other random memes on messenger and make small talk. Maybe pina-asa lang ako or ako lang ang nag lagay ng kulay. 

Ugh! Maybe all along I have been hitting on a straight guy. Sana magbigay siya ng sign that he plays for the same team! Patay na patay ako sakanya. What can be done about this?