Monday, February 29, 2016

Growing up comfortable

(Disclaimer: Ugh! Sorry if this post would offend some of you..)

After hearing the different stories of my workmates on why they chose to work in a call center. This all started after our first week of nesting, we went out drinking and started a long and deep conversation.  I really cannot help but feel so ashamed of myself for being so ungrateful of my life. There are probably a lot more people more deserving of my comfortable lifestyle (Note gods please don't give me a major lifestyle change..).. 

I have workmates who were forced to work in a call center at a young age of 18 because their parents can no longer afford to send them to school. Yet here I am who spent almost a decade to get a diploma. One of the reasons is because I kept course hopping and lived the life of a reckless teenager. Not thinking about the effort my parents have made just to give me a good education.

I also have workmates who were forced to work to become the breadwinner of the family.. Yet here I am just working to remain productive. While they are working to have a roof over their heads and food on the table for their sibling and parents. It is really sad to know at a young age of 20 they are forced to be the breadwinners with a monthly salary of 17k (Minus taxes and other government mandated fees) to a family of 5-8 . If only the income tax would be lowered though.. I have come to understood why people would always complain about how the government uses our taxes when I started working. It is not easy to get a big chunk of your salary deducted due to "income tax" and that we do not see it put to good use.

So far I have learned to be grateful for the things I am blessed with. I have a good family, great friends, and a loving boyfriend. It made me appreciate the value of money even more. Now I really understand when they say "earning money is not easy".. I have learned to appreciate my parents even more for working very hard to make me have a good life. 

I have also learned to respect the call center agents even more because their life is not very easy.. They have about three weeks to learn about the product and service and have to handle calls every single day with irrate customers.. It was my first time to be cussed at by angry customers over the phone but hopefully I can survive this before I resign to get back to reviewing for the upcoming board exams. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

my valentine.

So after weeks of rekindling the love that was once lost. The love we feel for each other is now mutual. He took me out for brunch at the place where we used to frequent during our early college years and everything made me feel old. The kids that used to beg for money in the area are now selling softdrinks and the stray puppies that once roamed around are now old and fat dogs. Time flies by so fast.. I have not realized that it has been almost three years since I have last visited the place.. The food feels different but the mimosa that we once enjoyed still taste the same. 

"Why did you want to eat here? The trouble of going through traffic is such a headache" I asked.
He quickly replied "Wala lang, I just miss coming here. Back then I would always ride a jeep to your school and wait for you to get out so that you can drive us here to eat"

Back then we were just young lovers being so carefree about the world. Not having to think about our problems in the future like how the fck can we start supporting ourselves to live independent lives or how we should start paying the bills (For my case phone bills). All we really cared about before was to get our diploma.. Nobody really told us that life after college is one hectic jungle.

After brunch, we were just sitting in his car and he told me to rest my hand on his lap and to close my eyes. Thinking this would be something naughty again. I started grinning and anticipating on what he would do this time. I felt like he was trying to tie my hands to something but when I opened my eyes. He put on me a gold link bracelet with our names and anniversary engraved into the back of the plate. (He knows that I am bad with memorizing dates..) I was teary since I didn't get anything for him on valentines. Since I got out of school I have been relying on my reduced weekly allowance and ample salary I get from my job. (How embarrassing..) Someday I will reciprocate his gift though. I will save up for something good or maybe look for something of quality and of use at Lazada soon for him (Cheng if your reading this. Your hints needed). We went to church to give our prayers and light candles to be thankful for all the blessings we have so far in 2016.


Anyways I just wanted to vent this out.. My current phone service provider Sun has been such a hassle to me lately.. I am having a hard time sending and receiving texts and my calls keep dropping.. I am getting so frustrated with the service lately that I have decided to make the switch back to Globe.. I don't get why I have so much unusual charges on my bills and the customer service rep cant even answer my questions.. So because of all the hassle I have gone through with Sun I have finally decided to switch back to Globe though I really want to wait for the iPhone 7 plan but buhhh I guess a 6s would be ok..

Friday, February 12, 2016

To new beginnings.

In a few months I would be living with Cheng again at his condo. He and I are inseparable. He has been my personal sundo to and from work for the past few weeks. Despite him having to be at work from 8:30am till 6pm-ish he makes sure that I get to work by 10pm and he picks me up at work to send me home at 7am. He has put so much effort into taking care of me and that I will make sure he and his "manong" will be very pleased once I move back with him :)

On the way to work, I asked Cheng why he was sending me to work an hour early and he started giving me "the look" and he parked his car in the sidewalk near the building where I worked in and said "I need a massage, I feel a bit tense" as he led my hand into his manong..

Since I was too early to clock-in for work and that I had nothing else better to do.. I decided to just wank him at first and he started saying he felt dry and that the friction was hurting him (Wow! how can the friction hurt him when he isn't even cut) so I moved on to blowing him and made sure that he doesn't play with my hair so I don't get sex hair from all this. So after a few minutes of playing around he started to cum and I swallowed every drop of it but then boom a string of cum landed on my collar and my sleeve..

"Fuck! What do I do? This is worst than walking around with a hickey! I don't wanna walk around the office with cum stains on my shirt.. People might think I'm a "manyak" (pervert) or I made chupa with some security guard or something."

He took off his shirt and said "Just wear mines nalang for today and spray yourself with some of my cologne"

So there I was.. I felt dirty going to work.. I felt like a rape victim and all eyes are on me.. Thinking that the trace of cum is still on me and they can smell it when they are in close proximity to me. I am still thinking if I should be open about my sexual orientation to everyone in the workplace and reveal that I have a boyfriend or keep my sexual orientation closed so I don't get discriminated in the work place (if that happens.. HR did say that everyone is very LGBT friendly)

Overall the past few days have been going well for me. I have learned so much about the line of business that we would be handling and that I sort still have to adjust to my workmates whom most of them made me realize that I should be thankful that I have finished my studies and that I was blessed to have a good life. I did have many adjustments in the call center life which is getting used to always eating fast food if the pantry food isn't very appealing or drowning myself in coffee just to stay awake. My experienced workmates did say that I have to enjoy training while I still can because once on the floor your gonna hate your job and that pressing the "ready" button on the avaya would meaning listening to frustrated customers for the next 6-7 hours.

The board results recently just came out and I am very happy to know that majority of my friends have passed and a bunch of them have made it inside the top 10! Hopefully my turn to shine will come this August.

Thursday, February 4, 2016


So I finally have a new job and should I say it was pretty quick. After leaving my job a few days back I decided to walk-in for an interview and after a gruelling eight hours of exams and interviews I made it! We had the contract signing right away and wow the benefits were great! Sadly there is a four month training bond but it would be just on time for me to resign and start reviewing for my board exams again.  I am now a call boy :) who will undergo training for a telecommunications provider.

Cheng is still mad at me though for wasting my money to buy myself out of the contract and resign from my boring job. So are my parents.. I don't know why everyone is mad at me for leaving my old job after about almost 2 weeks in duty.. Do they not care for my happiness?

I sort of now know where my future is going to.. After the board exams and ending my 4 month call center job I hope to finally focus on processing my papers to go abroad.. New country and different things to taste and try. ;) ;)
"What are you doing with your life?!" He said angrily..
I just sat in silence pretending not to hear him properly while I enjoy the view in the passenger seat window. 
"You have been in college for almost a decade because you keep shifting and now you job hopping. What do you really want to do with your life?" 
Feeling a bit irritated I said "Why do you have to care so much? Its not like your still my boyfriend.. One of the reasons why I decided to end everything was because your such a control freak and yet now that we are not together you still keep trying to control me." 

At that moment I was a bit scared if he would let me get out of his car and we were downtown where are the scary people were.. I didn't want to wander around downtown at like 2am..  I mean I have health insurance and all but still I don't wanna get raped or be ass fucked by an "adik" that roams the streets of downtown.. (I know maybe I was overthinking/overacting)

he started to get teary and stopped his car.. "Even when I was with her.. I don't know. There is just a part of me that still yearns for you. I still love you which is partly why I did not go far with her."

So from there I have realized that maybe Cheng and I are really meant for each other..  Maybe there is a reason why I find it so hard to get over him.. Maybe in a few weeks we would be together again bu buh.. I don't know. He has already established himself as compared to me..  I am still "young at heart" and reckless. 

I find it so hard to sleep when hodgepodge of thoughts have started to get through my head like why we should take classes to get degree, go to rehab for a fast recovery, or why trade off your own happiness to marry a rich lawyer(Why a lawyer though? Fact: It is a misconception to say how all lawyers are filthy rich, just like how they say medical doctors are rich.. When it fact most of them are already well-off or just have enough to get by.) and live a comfortable life? 

Monday, February 1, 2016

Resigning from my job.

I seriously don't know what to do with my life anymore. Maybe my mom was right and that I should just play safe and help out in the family business. During my late teens I had so much dreams of becoming and doing many things like aiming to become a future doctor and travelling many places around the world. Fast forward to now that I am nearing my mid-twenties I realized that most of my dreams have either been shattered or made. Maybe my batchmates were right.. The first few months after graduation is the period where we would feel lost with our lives having no where to go but reviewing for the board exams..

Ugh! I never really expected to have landed into this monotonous banking job.. It has been 8 days since I got hired and I already feel bored with this job.. It is basically preparing for opening at around 8:30am then waiting for people to come in to handle their transactions and by 3:30 or 4pm that is when I start noting everything and finishing up everything before the shift ends.  During my rest day, I decided to visit one of the few temples in my area to ask for a sign.. Sadly I did not get an answer but maybe the sign is yet to come.. I wanted to become a doctor but then I realized that all the time and effort is just not worth it in the end.. Doctors here are abused.. Think of low pay jobs and even abusive working conditions.. Sometimes the patients are not even worth helping..

An excerpt from a chat I had with an officemate one afternoon
Me : I don't know if this is too personal to ask but despite the low pay what made you decide to stay in this company for more than 2 years?
Officemate: It's the people I work with that made me stay.. Despite the low pay atleast I am happy doing my job and that the people I work with keep me happy as well..

Buhhh... I just cannot handle this monotonous job.. I am simply not happy... So I know this sort of sounds selfish and insensitive but buuuh I am gonna resign after my first pay and pay the cash bond to buy-out my 3 month probationary contract.. Maybe working in a call center would be better to atleast have a taste of what it feels like to work in a call center..

I know I am not making any sense to any of you right now but buhhhhh I just wanted to blurt this all out..