(Warning this post is full of hate and profanities)
Earlier today as I was headed back to my apartment from duty. Tears randomly started falling out of my eyes and the taxi driver kept trying to look at me from his rear-view mirror and it was really awkward letting him see me in a pathetic state. I had enough... I suddenly broke down and felt a wave of sadness. I just didn't understand how I felt at that time. I know that this day has been sort of like a roller coaster from all the patient evaluations and notes I have to make and all the issues with my co-interns and workmates I have to deal with.
I just felt so fed up with keeping up with their shit.
One event that happened today..
The "B" Co-Intern: "Were gonna stay at this place in Illigan and it might be really hot and humid so when we get there just shut up and dont expect too much"
Me: WTF! I didn't even say anything yet, and I try my best to control myself not to slap the bitch out of her and say "Oh ok ill try to go with you guys then"
The "B" Co-Intern: "You should appreciate it since they are offering their place and so we can see new things"
Me: Oh my!! Wow! I have not even made any remarks or say anything about the trip and yet she just keeps on yapping. Heck I can pay for my own hotel room and not to brag but I just wanted to tell her that I have visited many places around the world where she can't even afford going to. Fccccck Im just so pissed. To hide all my anger I just smiled and me being the little angel on the outside just kept silent and made my way treating all the other patients inside the clinic.
Another event that happened today from a patient who knows my little secret.
Patient X: "So with you and your boyfriend. Whos the guy and whos the girl?"
Me: "What? I don't know.."
Patient X: "Doesn't gay couples work that way. I know you and him are together since you guys used to always visit my coffee shop"
Me: "Sir, lets focus on our treatment session for now next time nalang yan ha.." Deep inside I was pissed for asking me such question.. I mean what does he get from asking?
Boom! I disappointed my clinical instructor today by letting the chief clinician scold him for my mistake of letting the patient use the machine at the wrong time but I don't see why its a problem when the clinic today didn't even reach our usual number of patients. It wasn't even a pretty busy afternoon. Why couldn't the chief clinician be happy for the achievements we've made to our patients. I mean in a span of two weeks we have progressed from making him ambulate via the wheel chair to a cane.
Ugh!!! fck this day.. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Ok enough ranting for now. I am just glad that I got this all out.