Monday, February 16, 2015
Close one door and another opens.
About a two weeks ago I told the ever sweet and loving Paul (the banker I met on the blue planet) that things are going no where for the both of us and that amazingly he was also feeling the same, and just waiting for our spark to just die off. We (Paul and I) both are still friends but I have somehow promised myself never to sleep with him again or with anyone else on the blue planet for as long as I have Cheng 2.0 back in my arms but for now as friends.
Right now things feel a bit awkward and different. It feels like meeting someone again for the first time. Him and I starting over again. Maybe Cheng and I are really meant for each other. He did come out to his parents for me despite them thinking that he is just going through a phase and at the expense of me not being in good terms with his family. Though right now they are pretending that he isn't "gay". I hope this doesn't reach my family just yet since I am still not ready to come out of the closet.. Will I ever come out to everyone? Who knows..
"You smell good" he said as we drove along the streets looking for a good place to eat.
"I miss this seat. I miss holding your hand as you drive me to places." I said while I try to hold his hand while he drives..
"I'm sorry if I got you into this mess.. I mean with my family.. I know this will just pass" he said in a low toned voice
"Grabe. kayahon nalang ni nato karon." (Lets just persevere for now).
"Inig graduate nimo, lets live together and start a new life together.."
"Asa man ta puyo ani? Na ganahan naman ko ma doctor." (Where do we live? I want to become a doctor.)
"We both can compromise. While I work my way for our future. You can study to reach your career goal."
I was in shock. I think things are going a bit too fast.. I still love him.
Sidenote: Internship has been keeping me pretty busy lately. This was suppose to be posted a few days back but I just couldn't find the time to post this... Send me more mail :) :) I really love talking to you guys.