Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The unexpected visit.



Fortunately nobody in my household even until now know about me and that bastard Cheng. Unfortunately for me however, today my maids and mom freely let him come in my house and had me eat breakfast with him a few hours ago I was left again with mixed emotions of sadness and anger.

I can't blame my maids and mom for letting him in the house since they are just so used to him being around the house a lot. Though I never expected him to have the guts to come to my house after what he did to me. I woke up to him sitting at my desk. I did not want to cause a scene in my house and possibly risking us out of the closet by my mom asking us what happened. So it was about 7:30am we were called to go to the dinner table for breakfast. We were going on with our lives eating breakfast like normal civilized adults till I found the pitcher of water next to him. I was thirsty but I did not have the guts to talk to him or even ask him to pour me a glass. I didn't want to talk to him, I was still mad. I was thirsty! I needed something to quench my thirst so I had no choice.. "Cheng, uhm can you pour me some water". He looked at me in shock and then again suddenly a wave of emotions came to me.

Deep inside I started to feel sad because I would not be able to do things with him anymore. I felt sad knowing that I had nobody to love me or even love anymore. Sad because I lost a good relationship.

I also felt angry for what he did to me. I was cheated on by his office-mate. He still had the guts to come to my house and try to talk things out. Angry because he made me love him.

We got back to my room and he started tearing up saying "It's not what you think it is.". "We were just playing around and he suddenly just kissed me on the cheek". "Carlo does that to everyone but he isn't even like "us" ". I kept silent for a few and said "Just leave. I don't want to talk to you right now" Should I believe him? How is holding hands playing around? Was I over reacting or was he lying to me?

I started to feel stupid for getting angry and jealous. Feeling confused I just did not know who to believe anymore. My eyes or his words. I did not know what to say or do. I wanted us to happen again but then again I did not want to be hurt anymore. As soon as I got to school I just had to write this post immediately.

 This is the first major big fight we had. I don't know what to do should I end things myself now or give this love another chance?

16 comments:

  1. I knew that you will get through this. The hard part now is following your heart. Who would you believe "your eyes or his words"? You both have gone a long way to end it just there because I am a believer of second chances I think he deserves a second chance. No offense to those who hate cheaters.

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    1. I think everything is happening TOO FAST.. Its only been a few days and yet it feels like forever. But I don't know anymore. My friend things I overacted to all this.

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  2. I'm having a hard time to believe that everything was only a play for him. Sorry. But still. Whether or not its true, it will boil down whether you forgive him or not. And I do think everyone deserves a second chance. Ur a follwer of cc right. Have u read joby and will? Well, I think u cud identify urself with joby and he has to win ur trust back.

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    1. I have a hard time as well believing him.. I saw with my own eyes them holding hands and that bastard getting kissed that can't be "just playing around" people don't normally do that randomly. Maybe I will find the answer through time :)

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    2. He didn't look annoyed with him, it was as if he was also playing along. When he saw me however he looked emotionless

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    3. Oh, i meant will.

      Baka nmn di sya nagchecheat so he didnt look surprised or afraid

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  3. There is something unbelievable in his alibi. It somehow leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway, you shouldn't be sad because you lost a good relationship; it isn't a good relationship if he's cheating on you in the first place. You should be sad, instead, because of the fact that he doesn't love and respect you enough to be faithful to you.

    However, I also believe in second chances. If he admits it and is genuinely sorry, then you should reconsider. After all, he commented in your 'Hurting' post, saying, "我错了 对不起!!!" and "It's you that I want." I'm assuming this was from him, he even called you by your nickname, I think. But, if ever you decided to continue your relationship, be vigilant from now on. Do not become paranoid though; there's a difference between the two.

    Maybe make a compromise or something. He should help you regain your trust.

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    1. I am leaning towards trying to rebuild everything again but then again I still am not sure if I can though.. I think its gonna be awkward

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  4. I also believe in second chances. But with that said, he would really have to make a lot of effort to make it up to you. The denial and the alibi don't sound too convincing, so if he wants you to forgive him, he really has to make you feel loved that you'll give him another chance. Just my two cents.

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  5. i think the holding hands and hugging would count as playtime but definitely not a kiss

    that's really the power of cheating, it will leave you confused, angry and sad


    in time you will be able to overcome this
    in time things will be clearer to you
    in time someone will be standing there in front of you to hold you close

    kaya mo yan!

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  6. Gosh what a cheating liar! Lol

    Well its hard when the trust in relationship is broken because im sure may love ka pa rin namang nararamdaman sa kaniya.

    Ang kaso ang hirap lang pagkatiwalaan ng taong nakukuha pang magsinungaling. Well mas okay talaga if he owned up his deed. Kaso he chose to lie. Siguro takot siyang mawala ka kaya sinubukan niyang magsinungaling or whatever...

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  7. I believe in second chances though lalo na kung deserving naman yung tao.

    So follow your heart and if you think he is worth fighting for... Go for it!

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  8. I hate effin loathe cheaters. I say if he was able to do it to you once, he'll be able to do it to you again.

    still... looking at how you started, you guys began your relationship with genuine friendship. so I guess there's still hope for you, a second chance.

    it's okay to be sad. its okay to confused. because it's the trust and fidelity that's been questioned.

    if he sincerely wants you and wants to be with you, he'll try his hardest to regain that trust.

    if want to give another chance, try to look at him as friend again. then if there's more to that friend, that "spark" that you felt like before. then you can decide if you would believe your eyes or his words. well that's just me.

    i pray that everything will become clear to you. stay strong.

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    1. I think your prayers have worked because things today have sort of been on the smooth side.

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