Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Holding on to the past grudge.

Its been nearly six years since I last saw them. I found it so awkward for them to still acknowledge me, despite laying low to slowly get out of their lives. The world is just so small that I can't seem to avoid the people I once shared good memories with. I know that we have cut ties in a mature way. I know that we have tried to make up for each others wrong doing. But It's just so hard to rekindle the flame of friendship that was once there. I just do not want to be friends with them anymore. I do not want to have anything to do with them anymore.

I can't hold grudges against them forever but I feel like things will never be the same. That there would be no point in even trying. Its been nearly six years and despite talking this over before. I still remember being betrayed. I still remember how they never listened to me. I still remember feeling lost. I still remember the pain and until now I still am hurting.

I choose never to attend every party, every reunion, every gimmick they invite me to. Their efforts of trying to rekindle the friendship that was once there has gone to waste. I chose to give short replies to the conversations they make on facebook or make any participation in group conversations. I really just do not want to be friends anymore. It's hard.. I don't want to see their faces anymore. I have a better life now & I have friends so much better now. For the past six years I have been doing so much better without them but I hope someday I will eventually soften up to them..

I have forgiven but not forgotten.


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Woah! I am rarely ever sad or mad. But after seeing a friend of mine who used to be close to me while volunteering to repack goods at ABS CBN. Memories just came rushing back in. The hurt, the feels.. This person tried again for the nth time to warm up to me but up until now I cant help but still feel cold towards them.. Im sorry its just me

11 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I recently met my friend who came from my old barkada. We tried to talk to each other but I don't want to be friends with them anymore.

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    2. I mean what happened before that? Curiosity piqued. But if you choose not o divulge ts ok. :)

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    3. I made a new post about it :) Thanks for visiting

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  2. Mas okay siguro if maikekwento mo din sa amin kung ano ba ang reason ng rift between you and your friends. A bit of a background story would help. :3

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    1. Yeah I did :) Thanks for the suggestion ;)

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  3. you know what? i have the same situation right know. eventhough we know each other for like 8 years, but it's like we don't know each other. We used to patch things up, but, nah, we just accepted the fact that we can't be just like before.. :(

    Everything happens for a reason.
    kuya Sepsep and FSOQ (feeling close.Hahahah) are right, a short background will be highly appreciated. :) Jo here. :)

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    1. I know that feeling.. Even a million apologies wont do for me anymore.. Things will never be the same..

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    2. well, in my case, she do apologize but on my FB wall. i thought she has some dignity to come personally but apparently, she didn't have. :(

      In time.. in right time. :) Jo.

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  4. anong nangyari bakit kayo nagdrift apart ng mga friends mo?

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    1. This was a really long time ago.. Until now though they still try to make friends but I just dont want to have anything to do with them :)

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