Sunday, June 11, 2017

another journey awaits me.

Around eight weeks from now, I will be starting my journey through medical school. I am not getting any younger to delay this any further and maybe I am destined to become a great physician/part time nymphomaniac/blogger. This decision to proceed to medicine will definitely become a life changing experience for me. Especially since I would have to give up a large portion of my youth (if there is still any left) to devote myself to the endless hours of studying as a med student.

Right now I still have not decided on which medical school to attend in my province due to many factors such as the need to avoid toxic people, the amount of stress given by certain schools to students, and of course the credibility of the school (since I would want a school that can help me become a competent physician).

Just recently "Patrick" has been pushing me to attend his alma mater, which has been consistently performing well in the physicians licensure exams. I was considering this school till my friends whom are current and former students there say that the workload is very demanding as compared to the other schools in our province and that out of the usual 200 admitted students only around 30 - 40 manage to finish the whole program. Since I did not want him to meddle with my studies (since he is also teaching in his alma mater) or even compare his performance with mines, the only other good options left for me is my alma mater and the new medical school which they say is as challenging as his alma mater.

During one of our bedtime conversations (yes we are now in the sleepover stage of our relationship), Patrick was still trying to convince me to reconsider going to his alma mater.

"Sige na go for *insert school here*, I will even help you out so you won't have a hard time" he said as if he was a child begging for coins.

I playfully replied telling him "The only hard time I would probably have would be giving you blowjobs, to repay you for all the "help".

he added while looking at me "Imagine having a hard time talking to people and eating from the strain, I might have caused on your jaws."

As I looked back at him. He gave me a cheeky smile and started playing with my cheeks.

"So ano na? Will you still push me to go to your alma mater?" I was starting to get a bit annoyed

He jokingly blurted out "Just wait till your internship, I will make your life a living hell."

Still a bit irked I said "Maybe in the future we would become the ultimate rival physicians in the province or have a striving practice and refer our future patients with each other."


Advance Happy Independence Day! Taken during an
event to celebrate the culture and heritage of our province.
This was also the first time we got caught  in public together by
people we know, despite them not knowing our sexual status.
Things have been going really well for me and Patrick. We have been getting to know each other very well over late night dinner, sleepovers, and random trips around the province. It feels like we are both in the same wavelength and that I think he could be "the one". Maybe we should make things official soon but how? Ughh.

Lately things have been very busy for me due to the demands needed by my seasonal job as an instructor of my beloved profession but since summer classes is already over and I quit my old job at the hospital. I am a free man for the next two months, before I become a student again.

Hopefully I get to finally decide on which school to attend ASAP and that I can put my two month downtime to good use.

Monday, May 15, 2017

the confirmation.

Patrick and I have become "really good" friends. We have now leveled up to texting each other, from what used to be communicating exclusively on messenger. Another crazy thing is that I have spent most of my April and mid-May 2017 weekends with him. From random dinner dates to road trips to far off areas.

"We have technically spent every weekend of April together" he randomly blurted out, while I was going through what I wanted on the menu.

For the sake of acknowledging his statement I just spoke out, "Bitaw noh! ( Right!) Funny how you suddenly became my weekend buddy."

"What is even more funny is how we look related to each other, a patient we were both handling once asked me if you were my cousin, since to her we look alike." he added

"What? I do not think we look alike! You have way smaller eyes and I feel like I have puffier cheeks."

"I want to tell you something though..."

"What is it?"

"I think I really like... (at this point I was already feeling the shakes of kilig), I really like it when we personally have late night conversations together. I rarely get to do this now that most of my batchmates are already busy with their careers and their own families."

I knew I had to get him a bit buzzed so that he would talk more and so I can date rape him. So I proposed a challenge to outdrink him tonight.

"The alcoholic in me wants to drink the night away in the nearby place after dinner. Since we both do not have anything better to do tomorrow anyways." I said to him

He gave a cheeky smile and agreed.

As we drove to our next location, I could not help but notice our elbows touching in the center compartment between our seats of my car. He didn't bother to move and I pretend to not notice but I swear our elbows touched for like a good fifteen minutes. (I know! Dorky me!)

We drank about two big bottles of Emperador only to realize that I have lost to him at my own game (My liver was not cooperating with me this time). He out-drank me! I was too drunk to do anything that I started puking all over the place, so drunk that I puked on myself.

I was expecting him to feel angry for letting him go through the hassle of me being drunk. Since he couldn't drive and that I was too drunk to do anything. He rented a room for us to stay the night.

 He technically dragged me to the room and tried to depants me.

"Help me take those off, so I can wash out your vomit."

I obliged. I gave him my shirt and unbuttoned my pants and he started to scrub off the soiled area with laundry soap. (Up until now I still wonder where he got the laundry soap...)

So here I am just in my underwear. I feel ashamed.

I had to blurt out "sorry for the hassle", as he was hanging my pants to dry in the bathroom.

He looked at me and just gave me a smile.

"They did not have rooms with separate beds so I guess we are gonna have to share the bed for tonight till you get in a good condition to drive us back home."

Fuck! This was a blessing in disguise! I get to sleep with my crush.

"If it makes you feel better, we can sleep with pillows in between us" I said trying to make things seem straight

"It's fine, It's just one night. we do not have to put any malice" he said while giving me a weird look

"I sort of feel weird sleeping in just my underwear."

He got out of the bed and started to undress to his underwear.

"There you go. Now you don't have to feel all weirded out."

I woke up at the middle of the night, to see him still awake looking at the random photos he took for the day on his phone beside me. I knew I had to try and make a move, so I gave him a hug. He turned around and gave me a kiss on the cheek. From there it was confirmed that we both were into each other.. It explains a lot of things that have happened to us lately...

It felt like a scene in the movie but it's all real! My goodness! My gaydar was not broken after all! My crush plays for our team!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

a step closer.

Lately the guy I have been crushing on (Let's just call him Patrick) and I have been constantly chatting on messenger.

It all started morning after a co-worker's birthday party. I was shocked to see that he sent me a meme about me drinking too much. From there on we just kept exchanging messages, but when we saw each other in person it was a bit awkward talking to him. I felt like we were more comfortable talking to each other on messenger.

Last night was different though... We happened to meet each other at the grocery store and decided to walk to his place to drop his groceries and go out for coffee right after. Funny how we seemingly became close after a few days of talking on messenger.

"Tonight we chit-chat over a cup of coffee and no alcohol for you." he said as we walked to a sort of hidden coffee shop near his place.

I don't know if I should put meaning to this but when I tried paying for my drink, he pushed my hand away and paid for both our drinks. It felt weird but I guess this is a step forward to a new friendship (I want something more though.). We just talked all night about random things and time just flew by so fast that I didn't notice that we talked for around three hours, barely taking a sip of our now watered down cups of iced coffee. Funny how there was barely any conflict of interests in our conversation despite the age gap of around 8 years (Him being older).

Throughout our whole conversation, I kept trying to gather the courage to ask his sexual preference, but I could seem not muster up the courage to ask him straight up. This is the first time that we went out together though. I feel it in my bones that he plays for our team(LGBT), but he seems straight as wood. Maybe I should not expect anything though and start getting over this unrequited crush that I have on him.